Welcome to THE CLUB YOU CAN'T BELONG TO

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Got my mind back

Today was a good day finally. I must say, that yesterday was not day 6, it was day 5. Today was day 6. I am counting the days this way because I am getting my treatments in the early evening.
I met a new friend today, she is a BC survivor of four years now. She came and picked me up, and we went up to the bakery. It was so good to get out of the house, and talk with someone. My brain wasn't working that great in the morning and she understood. In fact, she understood everything I was feeling and thinking. I was able to share with her fears of mine. One fear, was that I wouldn't ever "feel" normal during any of this, so for four months. I am very in tune with my body and because of this I can really feel all the drugs in my system. When I was talking to her about this, my oncology nurse called. I talked to the nurse about my fear and that I still didn't feel safe driving a car. My motor skills didn't feel like they had kicked in yet. My new friend, Sandi said that I probably won't feel "normal" during this entire treatment. I realize that I just have to surrender to that.
After about an hour of visiting, I got extremely tired and had to go home. I slept for a few hours and woke up to a clear head. I felt so good, that I booked a massage to do this evening (I just did it and feel okay). I knew I could do the massage, I just wasn't sure if I could drive there. I feel high, or drugged, up until this afternoon. So, to my surprise, I woke up feeling good and just did the massage. I need to do massages as much as I can right now because it is a meditation for me and it helps me to not think about having cancer for an hour. Plus, I love my clients and i love what I do, so that makes all the difference in the world.

As you can probably tell, I am still not writing up to the way that I like to. I am in bed now, not feeling that great. I may take a nausea medicine here in a bit.

3 comments:

Tink1272 said...

I'm glad you are feeling better (and well enough to do a massage! I'm impressed!), and that you have a new friend who understands.

I felt like I was drunk 24/7 the first time I was sick. The second time, I wouldn't leave the neighborhood if I was driving. I didn't trust myself either. It was scary to me. After that I thought I would never want to drink again. :-)

Anonymous said...

I hear ya! I seriously can't even think of putting anything toxic in my body right now, for that matter EVER again! Well, that is except baked goods. Right now, I am just going to eat whatever my body needs. I am and will be a food nazi when I get done with this hell. Yesterday, I had angel food cake (something I HAD to have, and a brioche)

Unknown said...

Heather
Love to you from Iowa!!!
I am so glad I can read about your days like this
I miss you
Did Iowa light up on your blog stats!
G