First of all I have to explain my body's amazing ability yesterday to gain at least, and this is not an exaggeration of at least seven to ten pounds in one day. I woke up with my Dad and my husband all not wanting to say, "Holy shit! You got huge." But it was inevitable. I was. I was so sad all day yesterday. Nothing I put on fit. Nothing. Not even my blouses, they all were so tight in the back that finally I just put on a wife beater and sweats and tried to welcome that my very loose baggy sweat pants were now tight on me everywhere. I went to bed not feeling that great, and an incredible thing happened all night long. I went pee, over and over and over and over. I lost all that weight in one night from urinating. I have no idea if this is from the steroids or the chemo, or what. But I can tell you when I woke up this morning I was back to normal and even D noticed. Very strange.
Today has been spent sleeping and eating. I am what I would say, almost back to normal. This chemo session was totally different, like night and day from the first one. It wasn't as severe and I can say that I just drove for the first time up to get some Pho and I could do it without any strain. As I sat there eating the soup my very bald head started sweating and I got so uncomfortable I had to get it to go. Nowadays I can't eat big portions and it helps to lay down in between shoveling the food in the mouth. There is absolutely nothing sexy or attractive to having cancer and trying to get back to normal after my sessions. My stomach is a raging 18 wheeler truck that can't watch my normal "Food Channels" as I cannot handle the intense food cravings I get for anything I see on the TV. Although I can only eat small portions right now, I can eat lots of them. I just have to lay on the floor in between as if I am making a snow angel in the carpet and relax in between the stuffings.
I realize that I have only ten more days until my next session, and that makes me sick to think about. My sister is coming up for the next one. My Dad was an angel for this past session. He got me everything I was hungry for, including a blackberry pie that once he got it here I couldn't eat. THis post is all about food and the interesting thing is is that that is all that I can think about. Believe it or not, maybe its because I can't taste anything that isn't salty or sweet. Water is the most disgusting thing to drink right now. Even with two packets of emergencies in a 12 oz glass it still tastes like plastic. I have these cravings and they are usually not satisfied because the food doesn't taste the way its supposed to.
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2 comments:
I hate to say this - but because of the sudden jump in your weight, the wonderful taste of sweet and the peeing, have them do a fasting blood glucose test. I ended up being diabetic when I was on steroids. They often add a lot of glucose to the chemo or steroids.
I'm sorry about the non-tasting. I went through the same thing. It sucks ASS.
Don't forget that no matter how big or small you get through all of this, we still love you in whatevever shape/size that you are. So even though it might feel icky, you are surrounded by love. Try to think about that and not how snug your sweat pants feel. its just a moment in time. It won't last long and later these things will provide smiles if not laughter to think about it when its long in the past.
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