Its going to get better

Today was okay. I found myself pretty sick, and each time I wrote down the time I took a med and why I took it it made me sick just to write the word nauseous, for the reason why I was taking it. I think my brain has a lot to do with me not feeling well. I took an anti-axiety med tonight as my whole body was shaky and I needed to just calm down. I fell asleep and woke up a few hours later. Feeling much better. The past few days lots of friends have dropped by food, which has made it a lot easier for D and I. Being on this chemo alone, the food makes it one less thing we need to do. Though I am not doing anything but lay around and watch movies and tv. Its just takes all my energy to walk up the flight of stairs to the kitchen right now. Forget about going up stairs to the bedroom. Our bedroom during chemo is the downstairs area. Just too many stairs for me. Today we took a very slow walk around the block. I was hoping it was going to take my mind off of eating, and it did for a second. THe steroids are incredibly intense this time. My face and body has been bloated since the day after chemo. We are referring to my little body as plump and red as a beet. The days of pissing it out are long gone. Not sure why, but my body is keeping the water weight longer and longer.
When I saw my onc on wed he said that since I am having such a difficult time with the steroids instead of using Taxol we will use Taxotere. Same results just different chemo cocktail. Taxol i would be on 10 pills a day, and taxorete just 4. Right now on the firtst day I am on 3 then 2 then1 and I am miserable. I guess you have to take lots of steroids because of all the allergeic reactions. I can't sleep and my new sleep aid hasn't put me to sleep, well it did for about an hour. I hope I get tired soon. There is nothing on TV and I am bored.