Well...

No laughing last night. She did okay.

I am doing okay. I just can't believe it. I am going to do a few massages today and see if I am really doing as well as I think I am. Doing massage is always the ultimate test. I have not been sleeping through the night. The steroids keep me up. Its pretty crazy, I haven't taken them since Wednesday and they are still in my system. Last night, D said, " Wow! You are bright red." And I was. My face and my chest. Red as Rudolph's nose. I have been eating lots of egg on english muffin lately. I get really severe leg cramps if I miss having a banana a day. I drink plenty of water, so I know I am not dehydrated. I can't bring myself to drink regular water. But Pelligrino I can handle. I think its the minerals and the bubbles. MMM...water that tastes good. I am hoping that I can start exercising a few days a week. I'd like to start running again. I still haven't shaved my head. Its partly me being lazy and partly me not wanting to get rid of the only hair I have. I like referring to my wispy hairs as My Hair. Even though it makes D laugh. But it is my hair.

I miss my hair. I miss being in shape. I miss feeling healthy. I miss not having an achy body. I miss being busy like the tasmanian devil. I miss having a sound mind that everything is going to be okay. I miss having that confidence.