The clown do

Since I've been home from the hospital I haven't had internet access. We still haven't had those guys come by and hook it up for us. Life with one channel, is such a bore!! For a short re-cap of the past few days. Monday was hellashish. I had a really really bad reaction to the Indocin, the heart anti-inflammatory. I woke up with a really upset stomach, a headache that almost popped my head off, and I almost threw up all day. In the afternoon I called my Onc, and he switched me to Cylebrax(sp). I took that Monday night, and then all night long, an even worse headache that woke me up several times. To the point that I started to panic I was going to have a stroke like my mom did.
I got a call from my cardiologist, Dr. Lewis at 8 am! Can I tell you these specialized doctors are so passionate about what they do! Anyways, he took me off of that and just put me on Advil. With the directions to take advil for a day, and then try the cylebrax again. But I haven't done that. Tuesday was my birthday, and I didn't want to get sick. And today, I have a broker's open for my condo listing and a bunch of other realty stuff, so I'll take it tonight. I mean, think about it. Would you want to "try" one more time a pill that made you really sick. NO! Its a no-brainer. In fact, I am not going to. I have an appointment with my cardiologist tomorrow afternoon, and I'll tell him, but I don't think he's going to slap me on the wrist.
The reason being, is that I think this whole liquid around my heart is a waiting game. They are still trying to see if I am getting worse or better. TOmorrow they'll give me another eccho and hopefully they'll be able to see if I have more water or not.
Honestly, its very hard to tell. I feel good, thanks to just being on Advil. But to walk any short distance is hard. Impossible to walk, even with a garbage bag outside to drop in the garbage can. Carrying anything, and walking makes me pant and my heart leap out of my chest. My legs are still very swollen. So, I don't feel like I am getting any better.
Yesterday, I had a great day. I went out to Vashon, had lunch, and visited with my friend Peggy. She is 6 months pregnant, has the same b-day as me, and we've known each other since I was 17. Its amazing to know someone that long. Then I went and got a massage from my ex- boyfriend of 6 yrs mom, Lyn. It was so nice to have someone touch me. Softly. It was wonderful. Then I went home. Starting feeling sick, took an anti-nausea med and waited a bit to feel good. Then D and I went to have sushi. My Onc. said no sushi for me. So I stuck to cooked classics of Soft Shell crab and a veggie roll. My stomach couldn't handle the deep fried crab or the wasabi, so dinner wasn't that great. I feel like a drug addict chasing my last "good" high with my food the past few months. Not being able to taste, and the texture being all messed up because of my mouth being numb and full of cotton sucks. I think of food I want, I try it and it tastes nothing like what it should. I am always askind D, how does that taste?
Well, now I am 34. Its 2009. And I can't wait to be done with all this crap. I can't wait to have a week when I feel so good, that I can run a zillion miles a minute and think clearly and feel good. No lingering sickness in my stomach!
My nails are all gross and I have them bandaged up because they look so gross. They are cut way back because they're dead.
Oh, the title of this post. Here's a funny. You know how clowns hair is. Thick all the way around the sides and the back? Well, that is how my hair is. My head looks like I have some serious widows peaks going on!! I have clowns head!! I hope my hair grows back and I don't have bald spots for the rest of my life!!