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Thursday, March 25, 2010

An Understanding

Today, was a full day. I have had a few of my nearest and dearest in town visiting and they both left today. I have not been sleeping, at all. My body is also, still ever so slightly trying to have a moon. I am trying to not get excited, but feel that there has been a shift. Hopeful hopes? Hhhmmm..possibly.

I gave a massage to a client of mine today that has just finished her chemo, and has started radiation. There were a few moments, of such depth of understanding. To hear in her voice, a quiver of pain, of the depth that she has had to dig, for it to be felt in every morsel of my body, my heart, my soul, my every-thing. We whimpered together, fighting back tears. The tribe, of life that I belong to. She belongs to. Forever touched. Forever understood.

I am feeling a huge sense of empowerment the past week. Feeling stronger in my body, stronger in my mind. There is a sense of things to come. For almost two years now, I have been on this Cancer road. For almost two years, I have been in my shell, thinking of ways to give back. To help, heal and to be of service to other survivors. I have decided on one, I believe profound way of giving back, and I am just now beginning the steps to move forward and make it a reality. I will share it, once I know that it is going to work, and is not just an idea.

Two hints...just for women and men that are breast cancer survivors under the age of 40....and its going to help them regain their lives after treatment.

I am excited to start my new life of service. This morning, over my cuppa with my friend, we spoke about my new life. I feel like I have been birthed a new, and I have the blessed chance to start over. I was stripped down in every single way imaginable. Moving forward from here, with an open heart, and open palm...soft yet strong. Being gentle with myself.

2 comments:

krisa said...

Heather,
I admire your strength and determination! Look at YOU! Last year you were in the hospital and this year training for a marathon!
Several women I know, who trained for a marathon, did not have a period during that time. Who knows, perhaps after the race is completed and you aren't training your period will return. I hope and pray that it does.
Love, Kris

Anonymous said...

This time last year, I was hurting! I remember even in June, I was still struggling with that super super painful pericarditis and pleural effusion! I wanted to go hike the Pacific trail with a friend, but couldn't because of the potential! Thanks, Krisa!!