My Nana's Tribute

Well...My Nana passed away and here is what I wrote for her funeral. She was an incredible lady.

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As the sun rose on my flight to Memphis, the thought came to me that everyone on the plane, we all in this church today, get to experience all of our experiences in these once in a lifetime moments. Once the sun rose, the beautiful sunrise was over, bestowed upon me, the start of a new day. Never to be taken back, never to be done over, never to be felt quite the same way, as we do right now.
Right now, I stand before you as my Nana had gone over with me ten years or more, ago. The meaning did not mean the same thing to me then. The meaning did not feel the same way to me. I had not lost her yet. I had no idea how I was going to feel, this one day, this day, that she spoke about, to me. How she wanted me to stand tall and shake each of your hands and to thank you for coming here today to honour, her honour.
Thank You.
My Nana was my best friend. She was, from the youngest of memories I have.
As a young child I always looked forward to holidays, and the one that is coming up, is the one that I remember today. Halloween. She would come over for the pumpkin carving party, Wendy and I always vying for her attention. Somehow she always made each of us feel like we were her favorite. I hope that someday I am granted the honour of being a Nana to my grandchildren. May I remember how she did this with such grace.
My Nana taught me many things. As a child I always looked forward to going to her house in Surf Pines, to work and do things for her. Now that I look back, I’m pretty sure it was her that was working, picking up after me, making me food (her crazy concoctions of jello and vegetables that I loved simply because she’d made it), and the way she was so incredibly present with me; enabling me to feel like I was the center of her world.
One of my favorite things I would do for her was chop wood. She taught me how to do this, and to this day this is one of my favorite things to do. She even taught me how to stack wood. But the biggest thing she gave me was a work ethic. I always looked up to her, and loved to help her out at her house or in her store.
Whenever I am in Seaside I stop by the shell of what was her store. Teena’s shoes and gifts was a steadfast symbol of Seaside for over 20 years. I always hated when she wasn’t around and had to go to Lincoln city, to her other store. I missed her terribly. And the times that she would allow me to go to Market with her and shop for her upcoming seasons clothes and shoes, was always so much fun.
We used to take walks, endless walks to me it felt as a young child, hand in hand on the beach. We would talk about everything, and anything. I will miss this. She is the only person on this planet, besides my sister Wendy, that I have been able to share every thought, every feeling, every single thing that makes me tick, and to be understood. I may have shocked her…but my Nana..she used to shock a lot of you..she understood me. I will miss this.
I will also miss, riding with her in her car, listening to Alabama over the 8 track, years later the cassette player, and years even later… the CD player, driving to watch the surfers surf..and listen to me tell her about things. She taught me as a young adult, that we are never too old to learn from each other. May I remember this attribute. May I, as I grow old remember to look to the youth in my life, and be open as she was open to me, and to learn. I believe this is one of the reasons my Nana remained young..She was not afraid of change. But taught me to embrace it.
She was my best friend. And I was the sunshine in her life. Since Wendy isn’t here today, I can say that…but really we all, were her favorites. In our unique ways.
As an adult, I spent time with her, but the times that really molded me were the times on the Oregon Coast. She taught me how to set a table for a party, she taught me how to sit and how to eat like a lady, she taught me everything that I feel is good about me. She taught me how to live the life I want, and to not be afraid to go and get it, she taught that anything I want I can get it and do it, she taught me how to love deeply.
My Nana and I shared a special bond. We share, and shared, and will share, until I see her again, a love for life. A hold no barres way of life. A bring it on, and lets roll with it way of life.
Thank You, Nana for giving me these lessons. As this past year may have been harder for me and maybe I wouldn’t have gotten through it with as much grace as I did, if it hadn’t been for you being my role model.
This past year, I did not see her as I was battling breast cancer. I was sick in bed for months on end, and too weak to drive the 4 hours to see her. She was there for me. I would call her and just cry. I would tell her how hard it was for me, and she would just listen to me.
One of the last lessons she taught me, I think unbekownst to her, is that we all have troubles. They are all the same. My battle with breast cancer, and her’s just lying in bed and not living the life she wanted. Hardship is hardhship. I will miss her being able to help me grow as a human being. I will miss the lessons and the love. I will miss being able to pick up the phone and call her. I will miss her calling me Sugar. I will miss all of these things.
But I must say, that though I will miss her..I am happy for her. How lucky it is that she got to choose her time. That she was done, and so she moted it be. As I take my walks on the beaches of the world, I will think of her. She will always be just a breath away. When I need guidance, she will be there, just a thought away. And the day I get to hold my newborn babe in my arms, she will be there in the child’s first cry. AS, she is everywhere, and in everything to ME, from now until the day I get to hold her hand, and walk on the most magickal beach in some distant land.