Just Starved

Today has been almost a "normal" day. Besides the insane, " must eat right now " times, and the nice plumpish reddish skin colour I am doing good. I slept the night through without any sleep aids last night. I really wanted to do that because I am afraid of those aids. Afraid that I will get addicted to them. So, last night when anxiety would creep uo and wake my heart up, I would just calm myself down. Its funny, but I am one of those people that actually since I was a kid count sheep. The whole white picket fence, green lushy grass, and the white sheep. Just jumping slowly one after the other over the fence. It always does it for me, putting me fast to sleep.
I just woke up from a nap and life is good. I am again, looking forward to a better day tomorrow and can't wait for it. This is what gets me through this. The hope that tomorrow is a better day. I am almost over the AC, and maybe tomorrow I can say. I finished it completly. A strange thing has begun to happen. Anything disgusting, anything at all, is too much right now. I have to only think of nice things, as anything that is gross makes me sick to my stomach. I can't think of getting the chemo, and even just writing about it right now makes me sick to my stomach. Enough of it. I just can't wait for three months from now. I will be all done with chemo. I'll get to take three weeks off and then start radiation. Happy trails...