What I miss

I miss having hair. My mother in law left a couple magazines that show all the hippest wares and do's of the season. I haven't looked at one of those magazines since the waiting room the day of my initial biopsy. Way back in May. Well. I haven't wanted to dress up in any of my fun clothes. When we were getting ready to put our house on the market, I packed away all my products for my hair and all shampoos of various scents and claims of what they do for my hair. I miss my hair. Right now, I sortof miss dressing up. But the fact is is that I have gained so much weight, I cannot fit into any of my fun clothes. And I refuse to go buy a new chemo wardrobe.
I knew I wasn't going to be allowed to get a pedicure or manicure during treatment (because of the high risk of getting an infection) and so I went and got my last french pedi and manicure in June. I have not touched my toes in months. They still look cute. Luckily they haven't gone through what my fingernails are going through. But I miss the indulgence and the self-loving of getting a pedicure. I see getting them as one of the few things I do for just myself. I miss that.
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My eyes are healing from the surgery. My reddish right eye is healing. It isn't red anymore, and the skin is now coming off like it a sunburn would. They still weep a little. The doctor said it will take a while for them to totally start working correctly again. But it is already 90% better. The surgery was lightening like fast. I was in and out of the hospital within an hour and 1/2. No pain, just groggy from the surgery.

I can't wait till I feel better. I am so sick of this. Another chemo friend, that just finished wrote and said how i am feeling is how she felt. The week after her last chemo she felt like she had the flu too. I wish I didn't have that darn break now, because it wasn't a break. I never got to feel like Tigger.