Do you remember in the 80's the Hefty bag commercial. As siblings do, I used to tease my younger sister by saying, "Hefty hefty Heather, wimpy wimpy Wendy." So, wimpy wimpy wendy, will be coming and lending a hand as I won't be able to lift my arm. I'll get over it, I am sure. I am going to try to not take any pain med's. Doc's say and other survivors say that the Lumpectomy isn't that painful. What is painful is the axillary dissection. I won't know how many lymph nodes will be taken out until I wake up.
Which leads me to my inner freak out. What if the cancer is in my lymph nodes and there is a little army of pac men just eating up my lymph nodes? That scares me. How does this change my 0 to 100% of getting "it" back, or from it not dying off in Chemotherapy. Here is one of those 40 times, I have to stop myself and just think about how nice it is outside. I need to go smell some Lavender. Speaking of nice things. My friends Marife and Hans stopped by yesterday with a care package. She has started a business called Athema. She makes tons of incredible concoctions of Lavender creams, my favorite- a Rosemary Infused Olive Oil (that is to die for), nettle infused vinegar, ect..
After they left, I was extremely tired since I didn't sleep the night before, and I couldn't go to sleep because I started dipping bread into this Rosemary Oive oil and mmm mmm, I was in heaven. I wondered how my mouth will do with Chemo and if I will be able to eat this still. Everywhere I read, Chemo makes mouth sores. I guess it dries up the saliva in your mouth so it makes a haven for all those, icky things I won't talk about. So, I need to do lots of rinses a day, ect. If worse comes to worse, I will just blend up everything and suck it through a straw. Luckily I love protein smoothies. Oh, but no fruit. No veggies. My sis, said in the hospital there is some kind of veggie/fruit rinse that she learned about for people with Cancer. But then I think, if it kills harmful stuff on the produce, do I want to then digest that? I don't think so.
Today, I am scared. Soon I will know as much as they will know about my cancer in about a week. And then, I will know how sucky and lame the other team is. On a side note, I am now in Love with my short hair. Especially since it is so hot here today. I am going to go outside now. I love you all, and thanks for following my journey. This jester alone, means so much to me. To have this support.
