What rabbit hole was that?

I can't sleep again. I keep waking up to eat TUMS, and drink water, which leads to the inevitable and I thought I'd just type a bit. First of all, there are heros each and everyday that appear and help D and I in various ways. But yesterday, our family was really really blessed by many acts of supreme kindness. I need to call these folks out into the middle of the circle and say thank you for supporting us in such an incredible way. FIrst of all D's Dad, Roger and Brother Kale, Thank You two for taking the time and energy and pain in the ass, that moving is out of your day to help D move all of the staging furniture (packing and loading it) into a u-haul, then driving it down from Lynden yesterday, to move it all into our house, and then you moved all of our furniture from our downstairs MIL, into the main house. I won't go into how much this time was good for D, but for me, it was not just about moving our stuff. Being as vulnerable as you can with family is always powerful. Thank You. These words just don't say what I mean, and that is frustrating.
Maryam, thank you for being a gentle spirit in my morning yesterday. You tender touch of your hands on my shoulder reassured me that I was not alone, and your support helped me feel my own strength that this was just passing, and I was going to get through this.
Tamara, thank you for sitting with me for a huge portion of the day. You gave me the energy to watch 3 movies, and you waited on me like a momma bear. I really needed the time to just not have to get up and "DO" anything. WIth all the chaos of the move, you helped me remember that it wasn't my job right now to help anybody, but myself.
Ann Leda, thank you for making a special trip to my house to give me an acupuncture journey. I don't need to say anything else here, you know how special you are to me, and what it meant that you came.

So, now to the rabbit hole.. What the hell?? I cannot for the life of me remember what I just went through, except for yesterday. So, from Wednesday to Saturday, one big blur. I vaguely remember visiting a cedar tree with Gen, Gen washing and washing, and washing some more dishes, Gen making me egg on top of toast over and over and over again, and not a lot else. D asked me how I felt, is it kindof like the flu? I said no way. He asked, "If I woke up feeling like this what would I do." I said, "I'd have you take me to the emergency room." My soul was sucked from me, it felt like. The Adriamycin or the Cytocxtan, who knows which evil but my 33 year old body feels like a 76 year old women. I walk in a shuffled gait, I am out of breath by walking a few paces, my body aches in a way that I tried to describe a few days ago, words just do not capture how it is that I feel. Or they do, and I am just to brain dead still to think of a poetic way to explain to you all, how intimately my body has been held captive by poison. Someone asked me why I wasn't happier finding out I was a Stage 1, instead of a 2. Because, I am 33 years old, and I have Breast Cancer. That is why. Because I knew I had 12 treatments of Chemotherapy ahead of me. Today, I have something to be VERY happy about, I am done with number 1, and I have only 11 chemo treatments left!!