A bright Sunny Day

Seattle weather. The word that I could use to describe it in a positive light would be gloomy. What was with the almost tornado that hovered over Lake Washington the other day. Seattle? Despite this, I started feeling like my little Tigger self yesterday and D had to slow the little hummingbird down a few times. I get so excited now that I am feeling good that I get overwhelmed and start talking at lightening speed about things. If you could imagine. My life is kindof like my tongue.
People say that you can check out someone's tongue and see how healthy/unhealthy they are and I am starting to be a believer in that. When I do chemo, my life shuts down and so does my taste buds. They happen about the same day. Shit, even my eyes become blurry and I cannot see the TV or read for days. Can you imagine anything worse? I feel like crap, everything hurts, your mind is numb, you can't think, you can't remember where the toothpaste is and water starts tasting like poison? Awesome time! I mean, give me more.
I am laughing and I am joking, because I have exactly one week to do so. Laughing and joking is going to help me through this and you all get to remind me that I will soon feel better and the hell I went/going through is passing. So yes, the grey skies of the PNW are just like my taste buds.
But the good thing, is that I am drinking some delicious vanilla roobios tea right now and it finally tastes the way its supposed to and my heart feels like exploding with love again. What happens to the joy during chemo? What happens to my spirit? Where does it go? It feels like a grey cloud is injected into my port (my skin actually turns an ashen/grey colour during the chemo injection) and for a week "Heather" disappears. I have no control over that, nor do I have the energy to try to go and find her. She just goes away, far away and I feel like I am left with a shell of who I am. What animal do I transcend into? Let me think. A snail, with no shell. A...leaf that is at the end stage of rotting on the forest floor in early March? Yes, a leaf in March. That is what I feel like.
So today, is a good day. The little kid in me wants to sing lots of songs and happy songs at that. I want to look at all the blades of grass outside as if its the first time ever and ask "Why" a lot. I feel reborn and happy I have one FULL week of bliss ahead of me. One of my favorite bands is playing at Bumbershoot Saturday night, Band of Horses and I am looking forward to having the energy to trawl around like a salmon in the sea of people all day and night this Saturday with D. It will be fun.