Choices

Today, D and I went to our friends child's first birthday party. It was a lot of fun. Everyone there had kids and I couldn't help but notice. The days of being in this situation and having it absolutely KILL me are long gone. Today I just got to notice it and thank god that I am not a mom with breast cancer. I did have fleeting moments of being pissed that I have cancer and that I am dealing with this. I wish I could have chimed in with the other mom's bitching that I haven't slept and how hard being a parent is. Instead, I got to sit back and reflect on how much I will cherish those anguished moments. Life is forever changed and being forced my nature to step my child bearing years aside is yet another lesson I get to learn right now.
As I was at the party I also got to reflect on choices and how we each get to make them all day everyday. I get to decide each day how I am going to react to things and wether or not I am going to empowered or be victimized. I of coarse, having a mother that taught the victim thing very well now how that choice isn't me. You can see the victimized a mile away. The whoa is me, people. I mean people, wake up. Live YOUR life. Dare to ask for what you deserve. Dare to believe that you are the magician in your life. Dare to trust that people are there. Cancer has really taught me this even more. I mean, I have had to dare to ask people for a helping hand. To ask for meals to be delivered the Mondays after chemo. The hard part after asking, is RECEIVING. That is hard and for most woman even harder. So, today these are the little (big) lessons I get to reflect on and cherish. When I am all better, this Heather is going to be a stronger Heather. I will not sit back and take no for an answer with the things in my heart that are dear to me. If no is the answer, then I need to move on and make it so that Yes is my answer. Yes, because life is too short to be wasting time on brick walls. Life is too precious.