So Good

I am so thankful for this past week of feeling good again. I really have felt totally like myself for only about four days, but those days have been wonderful. Today I think was the best yet. Did I mention how much I have always loved my ability to mulit-task at a high level? I mean I love it. Today, my mind was working full swing and I was able to think way in the future about all the little things I got to plan for and to execute. The difference now is that I don't let any of it stress me out. For that lesson alone, I am thankful. I still run into friends that don't know I have cancer and its so insane to relive those early days of how it felt to share my news. Now when I share the news, there is strength in the telling and not a feeling of morbidity. I guess there is still that sense of who the hell really knows but not on such a deep level. I am an optimist but I cannot totally believe in a 100% cure since it was and is still so incredibly shocking that I "got" it in the first place. I sure as hell hope and send positive energy out there but at the end of the day none of us really knows when our time is and will be.
I just get to live with that heightened awareness for the rest of my life. I think that is a good thing. I think.