Steroid Feast

Reluctantly, last night I ate two steroids and began my next hurdle of my LAST (yippee) set of Chemo treatment. I had a few minutes of, "Crap, I don't want to start all this again." But, after a little dinner, I downed the tabs and walked into the unknown. I slept pretty well last night, woke up only once. When I did wake up this morning, West Seattle was immersed in a blanket of thick fog. I welcome this change of weather. I want to move forward as fast as I can with all these seasons. It is hard to believe that I have been dealing with all this since early May. That is the day, the little girl in me brought myself to my regular doctor and had no idea what I was in store for in the coming month. She didn't scare me and just referred me off to get checked, just because she wasn't sure. WASN"T SURE!! Thank God forLeslie C. Tregillus, M.D., and that she didn't take a chance with me. DIDN'T TAKE A CHANCE. Huge! Unbelievable.
Those weeks of waiting came and went and I was nervous. But not that nervous. I knew in my gut though. I did. I tried to prepare D for it the "possibility" the best I could. When I got diagnosed I remembered about a year and a half earlier I had this really odd month. I wasn't pregnant, impossible due to my IUD, but I had three sponanteous times that I got really whoozy and then threw up. Maybe this is when I got "Cancer".
Yesterday I watched Oprah's show on BC. I cried a lot. The sisterhood of familiar feelings and depths of loss, only understood by Survivors.
So, today I start the treatment. I have not allowed myself to read what other people experience, just listened to my Onc. I don't want to fill my head with possibilities. I want to have my own experience, and right now I am very impressionable. So, I am protecting myself from myself. My sister is coming this weekend. I hope that I am doing awesome and we get to take a long walk together and make food together and cuddle and hold hands.