Well...today number three. Tomorrow, I can say, "Just two more!" I have been pretty weak all week. I went grocery shopping, stopped by my office, and got really sick just being out. My eyes are still flowing with tears. I am getting really sick of it. And starting to worry that the surgery didn't "take". I worry about snowboarding for instance. With gloves on, goggles on, and the cold weather, it would be very difficult to wipe my eyes so I can see to snow board!
I am afraid my counts are super low again, and he might cancel my chemo today. But maybe not, it seems I am always wrong about these things. Food is all together gross right now. The idea of eating just makes me sick to my stomach. I usually wake up starving and have what I am going to make for breakfast fixed up in my mind before I get out of bed. The past few days, I can't eat until around 10 and then its a small amount before I start getting sick. Right now I have eggs boiling, that sounds good for lunch.
D is taking me to chemo today. I will post a picture later if I feel up to it. I want pic's of the last three with me getting the chemo and me holding up my fingers. The count down is on!!
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Chemo did get cancelled. I am back in bed now. My blood counts are so low that he said if they get any lower I could end up in the hospital. So...now I will be done January 7th. I am so bummed. I begged, I mean begged him to give it to me. Will see if this week ends up being a good week. Last break I had was such a disappointment that I am not getting my hopes up.
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2 comments:
I'm sorry your counts are too low. Better safe than sorry, right? But you just want this done and who can blame you? January 7th doesn't feel that far away but time must be moving like molasses for you right now.
I am so sorry. I can't find the words to say how brave you are. Your words are a lesson in honesty and open sharing for the benefit of all.
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