Bored out of my mind...

Today has been totally uneventful. Even my blood pressure is low because I am so relaxed. Its hard to say how I feel because I am not doing anything. My bathroom is about four steps from my bed, when I get back here I can feel my heart thumping. But other than that, that's the amount of movement I have. Maybe when D gets here for dinner, we can take a short stroll. My highlights are ordering food every four or five hours. I have had 3 meals here so far, and I must say I miss egg and toast, and all the variations of it I've come up with.
D came earlier for a few hours and is going to come back. I am so bored. I have a great view out my window. I could probably go home today, but am going to take my Onc's recommendation and stay the night. I feel guilty that I am not going to do my open house tomorrow, I found someone else to do it. I just have to let go and not worry about anything. I am still not "connected" to the fact that my heart has tons of water around it and that I am in the hospital.
My nose is totally raw inside and it hurts. It feels like I just had chemo the other day. I think its because my counts are low and my body can't heal itself right now. Which makes me want to get out of this sicko place sooner than later. I have bouts of feeling nauseous today.
The good news is that I think my nails may not fall off. Well just have to see. They all have a good amount of new growth and I am hoping that the parts that have come up from the nail bed just get pushed further to the end and I just clip it off and I get to keep the nail on. Oh! I am bored out of my mind. Just when I start feeling like I "need" to do something, guilt rushes over me that I am in here laying around, and then I have to check in with my heart and than I realize I need to just be and do nothing. MOre than anything that is why its good that I am here. I have a hard time sitting around doing nothing when I am home.