I was just sitting here on the coach, drinking my favorite black tea of the moment, Earl Grey, and was thinking, "What to write?" Its always more like, "Where to start?" Which the word start flashed across my damn eyes, and remembered, reluctantly that I have to start taking that anti-inflammatory pill for a year. Today. April, 3, 2009. You know what, I'm not going to do it. Fuck it. What if I take it for a year, and then stop, and then suddenly have another attack of it. Does that mean I will have to be on it forever. I don't want to be on a pill forever.
So, maybe if I don't take it today, or tomorrow,and have my Onc call me today, well..and I need to see my actual cardio, since I have not even seen him yet. I feel like a kid, scheming up a plan down a hidden and usused alley way, rubbing his (yes, I'd have to be a little boy for this kind of behaviour) hands together snickering of a fantastically absurd plan.
But, maybe its not absurd. So, since I haven't seen my actual cardio yet, I will. No rush to start taking a medicine.
Phew~ That was a close call. I almost just forced myself to go into the kitchen and ruin a perfect cup of tea with a memory of taking a pill.
Last night I took a 10mg of Predisone, instead of the 20mg. I'll see my Onc again on Monday, and will taper me if my lungs look good again. My chest X-Ray still showed fluid in there, but not that much.
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