Doubled edged sword

Chemo got cancelled today!!! I am thrilled, my counts were too low again. That's the not good news, that they are low and that I had to put off the chemo. But, I am so happy. I actually started to cry when my Onc told me that. I was, and am so happy. I get to have a good turkey day, and I get to have a whole week of feeling good. I really need this right now because I feel like these chemo's are getting harder and harder on my body. I am getting weaker and weaker.

Yippee!! Have a good turkey day.

Letting go

I realized that my chemo getting cancelled didn't effect me the way it did last time. I was so freaked out last time. Freaked out because I was skipping a treatment. Freaked out because I was supposed to do one. This time, I think I can see my growth as a person, in a big way. I have really learned to let go. It really doesn't matter either way. I can only do what I can do, and that is it. So, I'm patting myself on the back. As today, I was reflecting and realized this. Maybe what my Dad has been saying to me my entire life is starting to become actualized. "Why stress over the things you have no control of, Heather?" Well Dad, even though your not reading this because, it chokes you up to much, I'm starting to learn what you mean(t).