What happens to all those memories of the past
Filed away in some lost trash bag
Mourning yet again, a new rites of passage
I thought I'd just mourn entering adulthood
Leaving that childhood at the beach
Sacred
Getting married there was a bit of mourning
The end of my freewheeling days.
But this time
This Breast Cancer time,
Has stampeded my heart like leaving the safety of home,
Of the Beach.
I only feel safe in my past strengths
As if I've raised myself these past decades to be
A Survivor, to know I can make it.
I feel so scared, abandoned by my Own body.
My own mind, spirit, soul, blood, and lymph
Will I make it?
To where?
How?
What will I be then?
I wonder now, who is this body, this spirit, this soul?
Does she have the chance?
Or am I just part of the worlds chaos
2 comments:
Heather, you don't know me, but I too had cancer. I had Hodgkin's Lymphoma. (I just had my fifth year of being clean!) I can't say I know exactly how you feel, but I can totally empathize. I went through much of the same.
If you can find it, I highly recommend the book, No More Bad Hair Days. If you can not find it, you can let me know on one of my blogs (my email addy is on there), and I can send you my copy.
A sense of humor about all of this can help you immensely as the great group of people it sounds like you have. One of my blogs is about my cancer if you care to read it. If you ever want to talk or vent or anything, feel free to email me.
Good luck, you have a long road ahead of you, but it sounds like you are on the right one!
this is a beautiful poem
keep writing
i love you
G
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