My List of Happinesses

The little things that I am enjoying are:

1. Putting yummy stuff that smells delicious and sexy in my hair
2. Driving down the road and feeling the wind blow through my hair
3. Getting out of the shower and running my fingers through my wet hair
4. HAIR, HAIR, Hair
5. Enjoying that my hair didn't grow back in my under arms! Yes!
6. I just got my eyebrows waxed for the first time in a year
7. painting my finger nails, they are almost all grown back
8. Feeling healthy and strong
9. Amped on my innate strength and hummingbird self coming to life
10. tasting water again
11. tasting all foods, including pepper again!
12. putting smell good senses on my body
13. caring about how my hair looks : )
14. feeling vanity in my eyes when I look at myself in the mirror
15. seeing my cheeckbones
16. seeing my stomach muscles, barely, but I see them
17. fitting into almost all my old clothes
18. shaving my legs

The list goes on and on.

Some weird things that I have noticed is that this past week only, and just twice I get this chemo taste in my mouth. Its disgusting and makes me shiver. I also saw a husband of a wife who was getting chemo at the same time as me, and I almost got sick. I shook all over, ick!

I'm off to the island to lay in the sun and visit with friends, its the Strawberry Festival. Should be good times.

Good and Bad News

First of all, I am going to say that my Onc told me and my Cardiologists told me it was totally fine to start exercising. Okay.
I ran Monday, ran Tuesday, and felt awesome, during and afterwards. Well, Tuesday night I woke up with a pain in my chest on the left side. Not just sort of pain, but excruciating pain. I couldn't sleep on either side because of this pain. The pain was/is totally different than lat time, in that its super painful. Last time, it gradually was painful. So, I woke up Wednesday didn't excercise and ended up calling my Onc in the late afternoon because I could hardly breathe. He wanted me to go to the ER and I wouldn't go. Last time it was such a horrible experience, in that you check in talk to a doc that has no idea whats actually going on, and its a run around. So, I didn't go. I called and spoke with my cardiologist twice in the evening and was assured that I was probably going to be fine.
I couldn't sleep well at all last night because the pain has only gotten worse. This morning after my rad, I got a chest X-ray and an Eccho again. The good news, my heart is awesome. The bad news, I have a moderate level of fluid in both my lungs again. I really don't think this is caused by me running, as if you remember a few weeks back I noticed the swelling came back in my ankles, which is a symptom of all this crap. I am over it!
I do not want to take predisone anymore. I am sick of steroids. I want to be get back to my slim and FIT body. I want to be pretty again. I am just so sick of the weight. Please don't write and say I will be soon enough, I know I will. I just am sick of it. SICK OF IT!! I was really excited to start exercising like a freak and get back into health.
I am not supposed to know any of this as I saw it on the Eccho, but am waiting to hear back from a DR who is allowed to tell me the info. I've had the eccho done enough now, that I can see fluid.