Do you remember in the 80's the Hefty bag commercial. As siblings do, I used to tease my younger sister by saying, "Hefty hefty Heather, wimpy wimpy Wendy." So, wimpy wimpy wendy, will be coming and lending a hand as I won't be able to lift my arm. I'll get over it, I am sure. I am going to try to not take any pain med's. Doc's say and other survivors say that the Lumpectomy isn't that painful. What is painful is the axillary dissection. I won't know how many lymph nodes will be taken out until I wake up.
Which leads me to my inner freak out. What if the cancer is in my lymph nodes and there is a little army of pac men just eating up my lymph nodes? That scares me. How does this change my 0 to 100% of getting "it" back, or from it not dying off in Chemotherapy. Here is one of those 40 times, I have to stop myself and just think about how nice it is outside. I need to go smell some Lavender. Speaking of nice things. My friends Marife and Hans stopped by yesterday with a care package. She has started a business called Athema. She makes tons of incredible concoctions of Lavender creams, my favorite- a Rosemary Infused Olive Oil (that is to die for), nettle infused vinegar, ect..
After they left, I was extremely tired since I didn't sleep the night before, and I couldn't go to sleep because I started dipping bread into this Rosemary Oive oil and mmm mmm, I was in heaven. I wondered how my mouth will do with Chemo and if I will be able to eat this still. Everywhere I read, Chemo makes mouth sores. I guess it dries up the saliva in your mouth so it makes a haven for all those, icky things I won't talk about. So, I need to do lots of rinses a day, ect. If worse comes to worse, I will just blend up everything and suck it through a straw. Luckily I love protein smoothies. Oh, but no fruit. No veggies. My sis, said in the hospital there is some kind of veggie/fruit rinse that she learned about for people with Cancer. But then I think, if it kills harmful stuff on the produce, do I want to then digest that? I don't think so.
Today, I am scared. Soon I will know as much as they will know about my cancer in about a week. And then, I will know how sucky and lame the other team is. On a side note, I am now in Love with my short hair. Especially since it is so hot here today. I am going to go outside now. I love you all, and thanks for following my journey. This jester alone, means so much to me. To have this support.
3 comments:
Drink lots of water (it will help with the dry mouth and loads of other things). If you wash your fruits and veggies (or get organic) with soap and water, they should be ok. Although for certain meds, the veggies can interfere. Sometimes you can cook them and it will be ok, just not raw. But check with your doc first.
I want to see a pic of your new do! Reverse those pac men. In your mind imagine the pac men eating away at the cancer and making it go away! It's a good visual exercise.
I've been at my conferences and this is the first time I read your blog in a long while. I am sending you lots of love on this next part of the journey and would love to do something special for you post surgery. I love the bags your friends made--they are so cool and I love you Heather!!! Big hugs from Atlanta. Peggy
We're sending you lot's of love and good thoughts as today is the day of your surgery.
Daniel and Nicole and Julian
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