1. Possible menopause and will be not be able to conceive naturally (which sucks. I always dreamt about the day looking into my man's eyes and saying, "let's make a baby."
2. Cutting my hair down to nothing and then being bald
3. Not being able have an awesome August and September in the PNW
4. Not doing real estate as hard core as I was
5. Not being able to carry heavy things, i.e. my massage table
6. Worrying that chemo might not work
7. Dying and having D love someone else
8. Dying
9. Not eating sugar anymore
10. Not eating baked goods
11. Worrying about having cancer come back
12. Worrying about wether or not I should even have kids now
13. Having so many things ripped from me that I can't even think anymore.
14. The ability to think about having kids and being indulgent with thinking about being a mom is GONE! That sucks.
So that is a list and that list doesn't seem so dark and horrible. I must be forgetting something. So yep, the hair gets to be cut short as a boy's in a few days and that sucks. The non-sucky thing lately is that my fertility doc's were afraid my follicles were too big and they weren't going to get many eggs. As it looks today, I have 10-15 eggs, that's awesome! I am still going to divide them up, as D just isn't sure. I am sure he would be more reflective if he wasn't in the middle of building a house, and trying to be there 100% for a wife that has breast cancer. It is so messed up. OH! I just thought of #14. My sis should be here soon. D is stoked, he gets off of dish duty for a few days!!
1 comment:
This isn' to take away from you being upset about chopping your hair: you have a beautiful face and your face will still be beautiful even if it isn't surrounded by long locks.
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