Fertile Hope

What a day its been!  I got the great news today that I got a grant from an incredible company based in New York called Fertile Hope.  This company gives money out for the fertility medications for young women with cancer, who are high risk of becoming infertile due to their treatment.

The weather in Seattle today is incredible.  I mowed the lawn, which is no small feet.  We have a huge lot with a gigantic hill!  I couldn't help but wonder how long it will be until I am out there again mowing the lawn.  I keep reading that if the chemo makes me tired, (sometimes hard to even breath one book said) that  the only way to combat the fatigue is to get outside and do some exercise.  Last night I spoke with my hair stylist who's been helping me to grow my hair super long.  I told her that I had Breast Cancer ( I can't help but capitalize it) and told her that in a few weeks I want to cut my hair to my shoulders, and then right before chemo I want to go shorter.  Then once my hair starts to fall out, then I just want to shave it.  I know that it will be a huge let down if I had huge clumps falling out on my pillow.  My way, I will feel empowered.

She mentioned that not all peoples hair falls out.  But I corrected her and told her that my Doctor looked me in the eye and told me mine was going to.  People without cancer seem to think that all cancer's are treated with one kind of chemo, and this is simply not true.  Since my cancer is aggressive and responds well to chemo, I will be given the extra strength elixir's.  Funny to think that I used to love to drink real healthy elixir's and now, I will have some disgusting lifesaving elixir poured into my port-a-cath.  I've also been thinking about how it will feel to have the port-a-cath stuck under my skin in my chest, I wonder if I'll feel it wrap its way around to its resting place above my heart.  I wonder If D and everyone else will have to hug me gently.  Ick!!